Wide awake

Lately I've been thinking I should write something on my blog, but I couldn't think of anything to write about until now...I guess my creativity has been low for a while. On Friday I have my first test in programming and I'm a bit nervous about it since when it comes to tests I usually get a blackout when I have the test in front of me. We also have two other tests to do before christmas which means I'll be studying 24 hours a day...almost ;) I'm tired of failing tests so this time I'll give all I have in order to pass. I'm really looking forward to christmas-vacation, this semester has been really hard, and I hope the spring semester will be easier. Next summer, I hope to go abroad and do a year of service for the Bahaí faith, something I've really been longing to do. Studying has made me feel meaningless, and the swedish society (and people in general) keeps on annoying me. You probably think I'm an outsider, but at least I can think for myself and I don't have to party or get drunk every weekend in order to have fun. I guess I've become more critical towards the society, because many people don't even try to make the earth a better place to live in, and they don't care about the bad things that are happening in the world. Like, all people care about is how to win big money on poker, or calling the surveillance company to give their neighbor a parking fine because he or she parked on their parking space...pathetic things that could make you throw up. Why not forgive your neighbor for stealing your parking space, thinking he didn't mean anything bad about it? Why not send a thought to those who can't wake up in a bed with a roof above them? Why not try to stand up for what you think and say "I think this is wrong" and try to do something about it? Think of all the things we could do if we just change our attitude. We can all change the world, and now is the time to do it.

Braces off!

Hi friends, now I've at long last removed my braces so my teeth can be free again :) It took more than 18 months but I think it was worth it. I know I might sound vain to you but the look of my teeth were bothering me so that's why I decided to get braces. And since I was still under 19 at that time, I got the chance to fix it for free, which was great! I should have got braces earlier, but for some reason I disappeared from the waiting list which I had been on for 3 years!...anyways I'm really happy with the result and now I can start thinking about other things :) Smiling for instance :D

Lately I've been thinking of travelling somewhere, maybe take a break from school next year and go work abroad...I feel there's still so many things I wanna do other than studying! And at the moment studying is not that fun and my motivation for it isn't that strong. Oh well, things can change. Hugs! /me

School

As some of you already know, I have moved away from home and I'm now a student in the city of Linköping. Linköping is a quite nice city and it's also bigger than my hometown, which means that there's alot of things one can do. The strange thing is that most of my time goes to studies. The programme I'm studying is really hard and it demands a lot of studying in order not to slip behind. But of course I've already slipped behind, and then especially in math. Math is a subject that really sucks sometimes and I wish it wasn't a so elemenatary part of the programme. Studying on your own usually never works, so you really have to have someone to work with. Most of the people in my class have someone to work with except me, but now atleast I know some people that I can ask for help. It makes it a lot easier. Almost every morning the past weeks I've asked myself if I've made the right choice by starting with this programme, and I'm still not sure. The first year is always hard they say so I guess I'll just have to do my best. It's not so easy going from a job to studies, but studies feels more important when thinking about the future etc. But oh well...nobody said everything it was going to be easy. I just hope I'll get through this in one piece. Bye for now!

Saab-fever

This is my latest acquisition, a Saab 99 GL from 1977. This is the second car I buy and I now have two cars to take care of. Since before I own a 1970 Saab 96. The reason why I bought this new car was because I felt a bit restless and I needed a new project to work on. I don't know why but I think there's really something special about Saabs. This car was not in good mechanical condition when I bought it since it had been standing for two years, but now I've atleast made it start, though I have some problems with the clutch that won't work. But I think I'll work it out somehow. I find it quite stimulating to work with cars though I sometimes get very angry when things don't work out. Then I get mad and start yelling at the car...but I guess that's normal...hehe :) Perhaps not so many of you are interested in cars but anyways...I hope all of you are having a nice summer...it's been 25-30 C here for 4-5 weeks which is nice but we could need a little rain I think.

A much longed-for answer

Today I logged into the Swedish College Agency to check the status of my application to college this autumn. The decision was to my surprise already done and it said I was accepted to the college in Linköping!! I'm just so happy that I'm almost bouncing of joy :) For weeks and months I have been wondering what I will do after the summer and now I finally know :) I'm also happy because now I can move away from this place and get my own place and my own life. I know it's going to be harder to live and manage everything on your own but I'm pretty sure I'll do fine. And it takes only 4 hours with train to go home and see my parents. I just hope that this is what I want to do. Atleast I'm going to give it a try. And if I don't like it, I might go abroad for a while and work. I don't feel like I'm bound to do a certain thing. I want to explore the world, learn new things and get to know new people :) I just want to do something that feels meaningful to me. Thanks to all the people who support me!

Vacation

Today I came home from my one-week vacation. And what can I say, I had a really great time but it's too bad it didn't last for longer. But oh well, it was enough to refresh me and give me new strength. I went by plane last tuesday up to the north of Sweden to a place called Sundsvall, where most of my relatives live. I've helped my grandfather with different things in their summer cottage and other than that I've spent a lot of time with my cousin, who is a very close friend of mine. We were up until late almost every night ending up grilling corncobs, fishing, screaming at each other, listening to music, watching movies etc. I must say it really made me relax and think less about my job etc. A week goes very quickly away, so yesterday I had to hurry back to start working on wednesday. Unfortunately the plane was cancelled (and I hadn't booked any ticket) so I rented a car quite cheap to drive the long 900 km back home. I stopped at my aunt's place for the night and then I drove the remaining 600 km today. Yes...it was kind of exhausting. The last 150 km where especially boring, hehe. Anyways, I'd prepared for working this afternoon/evening but when talking to my work-mate on the phone, he said everything was under control and he told me to go home and rest...so I did. And then I realised I could have stayed another day in Sundsvall taking the plane home tonight (a bit cheaper) and I felt a bit like an idiot. But what you don't now you can't do anything about, I guess. And atleast I got see my aunt, and of course the beautiful, long roads of Sweden, haha ;)

Ps. If you read this far, you deserve a big hug :)

It's been a while

since I wrote here, and I guess there is a reason for it. Since no one seems to visit my blog, I felt no bigger meaning into writing anything. But today I thought I'd write something. If not for you people then for myself ;) My life has been like an unstable flight the last months, not knowing if it would end with a crash...anyways, now I feel much better, thanks to people who have listened and helped me back on track. Suddenly all the colours came back, colours that have been there but which I couldn't see. The colours of life. I'm not so sure about the future, but I'm pretty sure that I'll move away from this place by the end of the summer. I think that if we do the same things every day, every week, every year, we will slowly stop to evolve as humans. We need variation. Move your mind!!
Hugs to everyone :)

A different birthday

Yes my birthday was two days ago, on the 1st of May. I'm not going to make a long story out of it. Simply because there's not much to say about it. I was home alone with my parents, and it was raining all day so it was a pretty slow day, and it was one of the oddest birthdays I have ever had. No one came by, and I guess no one was invited either. Well, I don't have so many friends living here anymore, and my relatives live far away as well as my brothers. This of course meant more cake for me! :D But they hadn't forgotten about me (luckily). Some people called me or sent an sms, so I'm not sad :)
The difference between being 19 and becoming 20 is not very big. One good thing though, is that I'm not a teenager anymore ;) The best part of my birthday was that my boss at work let me have a car the whole weekend :D I was really happy about it, because it was my favourite car (which he didn't know). A Saab 9-3 Sport Sedan :)
Material things can make you happy, but not as happy as a friend who says: Happy Birthday!

Today

I started with my new job on the car-rental company Avis. It was everything I had hoped for and a little more. Just awesome! The guy I work with is really cool and lets me work on my own already (despite that I'm a trainee the first weeks). I get to clean cars, fuel them up, deliver them to customers and of course drive them :) The best part is that most of the cars are pretty new. For those of you who know me, I'm a real carfreak and there's nothing I'd rather do than work with cars. So, thank you for giving me a new start in life. The last months of my life have been really challenging and some days I'd prefered not to wake up at all. But I hope this job can put the smile back to my face again. Bring back the good old Jakob.

My nephew

This is my nephew and his sister Molly. I saw him for the first time last friday. He is only four weeks old and very cute! His big sister Molly seems very happy to have a brother. She is also very sweet and funny and she likes to play a lot. She is only two years old but understands everything one says and she speaks pretty well too. She seems more clever than many grown-up people. That really fascinates me.

Gustav 1986-2006

This is Gustav. He was one of my very best friends. He only got to be 19 years old. He died from cerebral haemorrhage during a training session when he was on a training camp in France. He was one of Sweden's most promising orienteer. He was also the best mate you could ever have. Always friendly, happy and humble to everyone. Everybody loved him. Why is it that the best among people always die? I don't know the answer to that question, but what I know is that Gustav was like an angel who brightened our lives during his time here on earth. I will always carry with me the good memories we had together, and I'm sure that one day we will reunite again. He will always be in my mind, for he was not only my best friend, but also a perfect example of how a friend should be. Rest in peace, brother.

Never give up!

During a year I have now completed the following things: 300 km of cycling, 3 km of swimming, 30 km of running finally 90 km of skiing, which I did on February the 26th. I'm really glad that I now have made "En Svensk Klassiker"...freely translated one could call it " A Swedish Classic". It wasn't exactly easy and it demanded a lot of determination, but I'm glad I made it :) Especially the two last events were close to being cancelled for me since I was not feeling 100% well. Luckily I took the right decision and I survived! To all of you who have hard tasks to do, I only have one thing to say: Never give up! :)

Square One

Yeah so today I've finally created my own blog. I don't know why but I guess it might help me in some way. So anyways, today I went to the dentist to adjust my teeth (yes I still have braces) and I had hoped for getting rid of them soon but they need another 3 months so what can I say...this really sucks. This means that I cannot go to Australia and work yet, but I can just sit here and wait for someone to call me to an employment interview. So I guess I'll just do the best of the situation and take care of myself.